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Calling Paris...

Watching celebrities self-destruct is an awful fascination. Everything they do is splashed across the tabloids, dissected on talk radio, highlighted on quasi-news and entertainment shows. It's tough to watch but impossible to ignore. Maybe I'll feel better about celebrity-watching if I can take a lesson from the recent misfortunes of Paris Hilton.

Lesson No. 1: Self-control. If I could have given Paris one piece of advice, that's what I would have told her. Take a step back and think. Spend less time trying to manipulate your environment, and more time controlling yourself.

Most people mistakenly believe that the key to success is based on their ability to affect others, to get everyone else to act or think differently in relation to themselves. All their time and energy is directed towards controlling everyone and everything around them.

• If only...I can get my peers to manage their time more efficiently, this project will get completed on time.
• If only...I can get my boss to hire more support staff, we could reach our customer satisfaction objectives.
• If only...the folks at corporate were better communicators, I would understand our strategic objectives.

Let's face it, if the Hiltons of this world are unable to control their environment, then the rest of us certainly have no chance of accomplishing this either.

Concentrate on what you CAN control. Put your efforts into doing the very best job you can do under the circumstances. Take responsibility for yourself and the outcomes you're supposed to deliver.

Lesson No. 2: Wait. Control the impulse to act in the moment without thinking through the impact your need to express yourself now, to be "in the mix." will have on your career. Some people seem to have their engines always idling, just waiting for the flag to drop so they can put their foot down and do what feels best. Now, this instant, no waiting, no self-editing.

Wait. Think things through. Look at the big picture. Rein in your ego. Be a grown-up! It's not all about you and your self-expression. Instant gratification lasts a short while; your career lasts a long time, and the image you establish lasts forever.

Lesson No 3: Self-management. Adapt yourself to stay current and be relevant. Paris-it's not good to be a has-been at the age of 26.

The key is to be self-aware and have the ability to adapt to whatever changes are being thrust upon us. Our environment is unpredictable. I don't want to quote the chaos theory or suggest that the world is out of control, but everything is changing all the time and our ability to adapt is critical. This is especially true the higher we climb in a company. Most successful executives realize that what separates them from the wannabe's is their ability to adapt to situations. They do not expect the world around them to change to meet their needs. Sometimes this type of "adaptive" behavior is construed by others as being a chameleon or of being a "political animal." But really it's simply smart to know what's going on in the bigger world.

Lots of lessons. Hopefully Paris will take the call.

Help, I've fallen and I can't get up...

Or can she?

By now you've heard (or seen if you are an internet voyeur, me included) that Miss USA Rachel Smith took a tumble in Mexico City and was booed.  For your Average Jane, falling on your hiney doesn't seem like a career-ending event.

However, if you are a Miss Universe contestant with billions of viewers judging you on your poise, grace, and beauty, doing a fanny-plant on the runway during the evening gown competition can amount to a catastrophe.  Since she is a hot commodity, Miss Smith probably has a cadre of PR professionals who will guide her through time-tested steps so that she will not be defined by this moment.

But what about the Average Janes who lack Miss USA's enviable resources? What steps should they take towards image recovery after suffering a career setback?  Let's consider the options:

Vanish into the "land of the unemployed," never to be heard from again. This is an ill-advised strategy, and not a real option for most people who need to earn a living.

Spread the word about how horribly she was treated. Speaking ill of her former employer is not a strategy I recommend! All it does is position Jane as a whiner, complainer, sour-grapes person and expose her foible to an even bigger audience.

Re-craft her image and get the message of her positive contributions to as many people as possible. Ah? That sounds like a good idea? Here's how she can do that...or how you can do that if you are dealing with a fall from grace:

• Create a list of accomplishments, including only high-impact results and contributions that are clearly recognized as your own.
• Build a target contact list. Depending on the circumstances of your departure, this might push you outside your comfort zone since it is crucial to include not only avid supporters and lunch buddies, but anyone who might be able and willing to help you. (Don't push the envelope too far, though. You won't get anywhere with people who were not in your corner while you were with the company.)
• Prepare your story of why you're looking for a new job. Be truthful...but selective. You don't have to air dirty laundry (yours or the company's) in public. All you need is to give a logical, mostly positive reason for your job search.

As much as we may be entertained by public figures who stumble and then attempt to mend their image, when it happens to us it can be a very humbling experience. The most positive thing you can do is buck up and get busy creating an image that is an accurate reflection of your talents and abilities. Onward ho!